Depression. Just the word on its own carries such a stigma. When people hear this word they immediately have a picture painted in their head about the definition. It is so sad, but it is the truth. There is truly not one solid description for Depression. It is not a label (even though many use it as such). Every case of depression is different, there is no correct or incorrect way of being depressed. In fact, I would be willing to say that nearly every single person has experienced depression at some point in their life. Sadly most people just stay quite, they do this out of fear of the label.
I am here to tell you first hand that my depression looked much different the “classic case” (insert eye roll here, there is no such thing as a classic case of depression). For years I have silently battled it, I never wanted to share it with anyone. This is because I feared the reaction I would get from people. People would think I was crazy. People would think I needed medication. People would interact with me differently thinking that I was fragile. Suicidal. Nut Job. Dramatic. These were all things I was nervous about others labeling me with.
Every day I put on a smile and carried on with my normal life. I hid the fact that I was unhappy with my life and felt like I was on a downward spiral. Honestly I thought the feeling was all in my head and that it would go away. If I continued to pretend I was happy and continued to ignore my symptoms it would just pass right???
I was wrong.
It just grew. Think of a fire, it starts off with just a little hot ember. It glows brighter and gets bigger. Now it is a flame. That flame then just keeps spreading. Suddenly you have a raging wild fire. It could have been easily extinguished in the beginning, but now you seriously need airplane tankers to put this baby out.
As I said, most people would have never know of my silent battle. I didn’t share it. Those that are very close to me maybe would see the slight cracks in my story. They would see the smile fade to tears. But not many, that was how I wanted it. I didn’t want anyone to know how I really felt. The frustrating thing was that in the beginning I could not even pin point why I felt the way I did. Trust me, that is normal. Your reading this and you have felt a depressed feeling before, more then likely you don’t know the real root of the feeling. For gosh sakes, we are not all therapists with fancy degrees :)!
If there is one thing that I can share it would be- don’t feel like you have to hide your depression. SPEAK OUT. Tell those that are close to you how you are feeling. We all can find at least one person that we trust. It can be a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a relative or a best friend. Talking will make you feel better. Talking will raise the awareness of depression in this world. You are not alone my friend.
Together we can change the stigma that is attached to being a victim of depression. Safety in numbers right????
I can honestly say I feel so much better these days. Talking about how I feel has helped me cope. There are many others things I have done that have helped to control my feelings. I will share those soon on another blog. But for now, it feels great to know that I have the control to make my own happy. I know that I am not a FREAK because I was depressed. I know that I am not defined by my feelings. I am defined by my actions and the life that I live.
If you would like to reach out to me for more information on how I handle my depression (with no medications) please feel free to. Feel free to share this Blog and to share your thoughts.
Lets end the Stigma. Lets control our STORY!!!
Until next time- Dream It….Think It…Do it Your beautiful and smart. YOU can beat anything thrown in your path!!!